Page Parley: Moniack Mhor

In this episode we speak to five wonderful authors, Charli Haynes, Catriona Scott, Arianna Ellis, Monica Burns and Ellis Jamieson, about their experience at the wonderful creative writing centre Moniack Mhor.
 
 You can find Moniack Mhor's website here:
 www.moniackmhor.org.uk  
 
 You can submit your work to us here:
 https://yorickradioproductions.com

Transcript

The sort of big project that I have been working on for a stupid amount of years and haven't finished.  Is a love letter to sort of the naughty pop punk culture that I grew up with set in Birmingham, which is also where I grew up. And the main character is a teenage angel of death character.

It is her navigating this world of life and music and excitement and joy, and friendships and everything, but knowing that she's coming at it from a lens that her job is to. Um, people's, I call it debt. So they're, they're sort of life debt when they've paid their life debt back to death. 

 So she's in this like conflicting place where she's trying to live a life as a teenager but at the same point, she knows that life has to end. So she's sort of navigating that, which I. I feel like we all do when we sort of reach that teenage of being like that, that sort of acknowledgement of like, oh, I don't live forever.

What? Using her to really amplify that.  The other story, which is the story that actually I wrote the most at Moniac, is a retelling of red Riding Hood with the Wolf as a sort of symbolism of, of grief in that loss of her grandmother. So playing around with, the,  twist on a fairytale.

So, yeah, lots of death.

There's a theme here, something, 

there's a theme, . 

I remember you reading, the story or a section of the story about red Riding Hood and how effective it was because your style of writing is gentle. And straightforward. And so when things get brutal, it makes it all the more effective.

 For me, it was one of these standout pieces. Everybody's was fantastic and I loved all of them, but that one really sat in my mind. I can still remember little phrases from it it was an incredibly effective. 

Oh gosh. You'll make me cry.

Thank you. That really means a lot. , happy tears. Thank you so much. Happy tears. Happy tears. Thank you. 

 Moniac is an incredibly rural area.  How would you describe the atmosphere at Monk Moore?

I mean, there's so many elements to it where I'm based at the moment is London. So I flew from London to Inverness and then got a shared cab out to Moniac.

 It was sort of a pilgrimage in itself because it, it was going from like mad busy rat race, London. Into Inverness, which still has a heart and a, a city and a sort of mns and that type of thing. And then going out in the cab and just getting further and further removed from the day-to-day  of like the daily life, and less houses and more just beautiful countryside.

And then you come down this pathway to see this cottage that's just surrounded by. Just stunning, beautiful Scotland.  Just so symbolic in itself  and that sort of removal from where I was into this place of like, okay, writing takes precedent here.  And then coming in and because of train delays and stuff, lots of people were already there, including yourself.

And the fire was on, and it was so warm in, in all ways. Literally being at a cozy cottage in a like middle of nowhere, but also just the hub above that noise. And, immediately it just felt like, this is where I need to be. I think you just know as soon as you walk across the threshold that like this is a really special place.

That first dinner, where everybody went around the table and talked a bit about their project and what they were working on. And for whatever reason, we started talking about zodiac signs, like . That was just, it was magic. It was magic. And. That was the point where I, I saw you and, and, and Kat and Mon and everyone, and I was like, I must be friends with you guys, , I must be friends.

 That whole gang that were there was so special that it really felt like a, a, a moment that we were all together, all on a very similar journey.  Cuz I was terrified.

I was so scared. I'm the first, I mean, every morning, like coming out and talking to people at breakfast and, making that engagement always put like a fear in my belly and every morning I'd go down and have toast and chat to somebody and it would just be like, ah, this is so lovely. Like, everybody understands where you're coming from.

 It was just so inviting and warm, and really special. the place itself like. Looking out of the window, you'd look down, do some writing and look back up. And it would be like you were in a completely different place, like the way that the weather changed and shifted and you'd have beautiful sunshine or just the cloud seemed to have minds of their own and they'd just like show you things and then hide things.

And that itself was just so inspiring to, to be around. 

 It is a very special place, and I feel like it attracts special people. It was such a joy to meet you and everybody else. 

Touching on  the place itself, how did you find the buildings and the facilities?

Well, exactly what we needed. It really fulfills that romantic vision of like being a writer  literally locking yourself up in the middle of nowhere.

 The rooms are like actually quite big.  Great, like beds and you get your desk and just, I think I, I didn't see everyone's room at all, but I get the sense that everybody has a good view, , and you're looking out at just stunning countryside. I had a shared bathroom, um, which was not an issue at all.

Then,  there's the shared cooking and, eating together. And I, I love that. I think that was, that was really important. Because you have that communal element that, that brings you out of your writing, which you need, sometimes to just come back to, to real people and,  to have a good chat and talk through any issues that you're having in your writing.

So many people were having the same issues, and so then you don't feel like a fraud. And also just the cooking element is like, it was again, terrifying. , .  But I loved like out it, the, just everyone being so lovely, like the cheers to the chef every time. That each group cooked. There's enough space for everybody to go away and have quiet time, and you don't feel like you're on top of each other.  And it is special that the house goes quiet and everybody's writing.

And then there were moments where it would come to life, like around breakfast or lunch or dinner. And then everyone would, would go back to writing again. You didn't ever feel like you were in the way and like, oh, I dunno if I can sit here cuz somebody else might want to come in here.  There was a morning that I went into the Hobbit house, and I was like, oh, I better be really busy. But I was like, no, I'm gonna go out.

And I was just sat there in lots of blankets,  just, I was there for a whole morning. And then,  Albert came and joined and, it then it didn't, again, it just didn't feel like anyone was intruding on anybody. It was like, oh yeah, come and come and join in. And then you've got a bit of company for the last little bit of writing that you're doing and.

 Just since we've mentioned it,  how did you find the social aspect? 

I really liked it. I was apprehensive at the beginning, because I've done a couple of different things before,  I think the world of writing has changed and there's a lot of pop culture that ha has challenged and changed that so, I guess writing Pregame of Thrones, being as big as it was, like fantasy was always sort of snubbed and, and looked down on as a genre.

, then the sort of ya genre, like obviously is, is completely exploded now. And, and there's so much of it everywhere,  it feels a lot more normalized. Whereas I distinctly remember like before, before Game of Thrones became as big  as it was like if you talked about being a fantasy writer, it was like, oh, okay, that's nice. 

So, coming to,  a writer's retreat, it was like, oh, I'm, I have a fear of saying what I'm writing in case I. Don't get taken seriously or sort of snubbed or that type of thing. And I mean, Manette was the absolute antithesis, . Like everyone was just so excited by everyone's ideas and everyone's ideas were so different.

 There was space for everybody's ideas, which was just amazing.  The more I chatted to people, the more common ground you find and, You talk about the issues that you have with writing, like struggling with, a main character, talking to you, or being a mental block or, that day where I was like feeling really down and then yourself and Rebecca and me. We went out for that walk and it was just like, ugh. That feels so much better. I've never had a writer community. You read so much being like, oh, you need your writer's group and you need your like writer friends.

And I was like, I've never had that. I dunno how to find them. But I feel like I've found them. 

It is important because we are social animals  we're pulling from the culture we're in, you know, we're drawing the past. It's, and it's, there's no shame in that. That's why I loved your Red Riding Hood thing, because yes, you're drawing on a folktale, but you added your own thing to it. And actually it's better because you were drawing on a folktale because you're pulling on that ancient tradition.

That's all in all of our heads.  

So when you talk to fellow writers or creatives, it's a really special kinship and it's a really special thing that. It just surprised me at Monique and,  it was really important to be like, oh, these are my people. I found them, like I've been looking for them and I found them like they do exist. You can't do it on your own because you will, you will go crazy.

Mm-hmm. . You need to have that. Person who's like, it's fine. This is normal. Let's go have a cup of tea.  , 

Do you think that being on the retreat overall helped you to overcome mental blocks about writing?

Yes. Yes, definitely. in multiple ways. The journey within myself of the acceptance of me and, and being a writer and. The sort of preconceptions of what a writer is and what a writer should be and should be writing, and how you should write and all, all that type of thing. Being in the, the group we had with so many different styles of writing, but finding the similarities and hiccups and frustrations and.  It was such a comfort to, to talk that through with, with people who were, were experiencing the same thing  I remember towards the end chatting to Annie and, we were just talking about how there's,  that pressure of productivity in society and that sort of checkbox of, what you need to have shown at the end of the day to, to prove that you are worth .  Monk gave the space to, just think  Marni act just slowed things down and, just, just highlighted the importance of giving space to things and that is part of the process 

it's quite scary in, in a lot of ways because, because writing's always been the place where I go to heal to now bring that to the forefront is like, oh no, , like this is like so personal  and has been such a thing I've hidden, but now it's like, oh, this is what I really want to do.  Maniac was  like a cushion. It was, it was like a warm blankie of like, this is right. And the community here is so supportive.  Like that last night where everybody chose to read was just, it was magic.  Monk will forever be a foundation stone in, the confidence in myself to be like, I'm, I'm doing this and I can do this. 

Absolutely beautiful and it's so wonderful that it was that for you.  Over the course of the, the week I watched you get more self-assured. It was wonderful to see because your writing is spectacular so in that vein,  do you have, a favorite memory or memories from the retreat?

So many. Definitely the first dinner. I just loved it. Like, everyone's brilliant. it was so funny, the rounds of applause for Yes. Everybody.

The, final night was, was just  it was ethereal. There was something ancient about the fact that we all sat round a fire. With like candlelight and no other, no tech, no, like nothing.

And we just told stories to each other. Mm. And that was just magic. And then also our walk. I loved our walk past the terrifying forest.

Scary woods. Yes. , the scary woods, that it was so sunny, but these woods were pitch black.  that, that was also really pinnacle for me to, to walk with you and Rebecca and just, just, just talk about life and experience and writing and the cows. The cows were cute. . 

The cows were adorable, as were the pigs. The pigs were a highlight for me. . 

The pigs were such a high, I forgot about the pigs. Oh, they were so cute. 



Finding people on your wavelength who just totally understand what you're thinking when you're looking at like a spooky, dark, scary woods. And all of our brains are imagining what's going on in the deep sc scary woods, and what would happen if we went in there and it's like fully into like, okay, there's like a magical portal, or there's a monster, or like, and it's just so fun to.

To be around people that you know are thinking the same thing. Yeah. Rather than just being like, it's just a wood like . It's not just 

a wood. It's so much more than just a wood. It's so much more . . No, I absolutely It. Tha that hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much. Well, and again, thank you very much for speaking about your whole experience, thank you so much for coming to speak to me today. It's been an absolute delight. If people would like to hear more from you in the future, is there anywhere they could go 

online? Yes. I plan to be more active on Twitter.  And it's just Charlie underscore Hayes.

Just as. A note. Charlie has no e on the end, so it's c H A R L I underscore haes,  on Twitter.  Feel free to say hello. This is a joy. It's always a joy to chat to you.  I've loved it. Oh, thank 

you, Charlie. We've loved having you. And yes, everyone, please go and say hi to Charlie . 

Yay.

Well, hello and thank you so much everyone for coming to speak to me today. Can you please tell us a little bit about yourself? 

Hello. It is I Kat, friend of the podcast . Um, okay. The bookworm reviews. And I'm here to talk about writing today, which is a thing that I do.

 I work in a theater at a box office, but I am primarily a playwright, so that's what I do. 

Hello. I'm Ari. I do my PhD, the University of Toronto. I look at, early, moderate and medieval history, social history, sensory history, that kind of thing. That's me in a nutshell. . 



Hi, teacher by day. But by night I like to write horror stories and everything. Creepy and, uh, vaguely dramatic. So yeah, fantasy Leila.

 Careers Advisor by Dave and, by night, um, , or at least on retreats. I'm a predominantly graphic novel writer slash artist. And actually what I was doing at Mon Horror was planning out pages of the graphic novel that I'm doing, which is a graphic novel adaptation of a classic novel called,  private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hog 



So, anyone who's hopefully listened to this podcast before will know who I am. I am Rosie, and I am a audio fidgeter by, by day, and by night.

I'm a crypted.  What kind of things do you like to write? 

I like to write about murder

 , but in all seriousness,  used to write a lot of historical,  stuff, but these days I've moved more into more modern is the seventies and eighties compared to the 14 hundreds I used to write about. And I focus a lot on kind of slice of life drama type. Basically. There's usually at least one murder in it is as much as I'll say. 



Well, by day or by day job, I write about, public execution a lot cuz that's what my dissertation is on.

 Particularly about kind of the way that, society related to public execution, the way it was written about, the way it was sensationalized, that kind of thing. And by also day , I am a genre thick person, so fantasy is kind of , my main area. Potentially also some sci-fi, some kind of historical fantasy, that kind of thing.

I like to write lots of different things. I started writing with Mon, who is my partner, many years ago when we were both in school together at 12 years old. That's not when we started writing, but we've been writing for a long time together and it was very much fantasy stuff and I still kind of lean towards the fantasy stuff.

But I've kind of branched out a little bit from like the fiction of pros into plays and, that sort of thing. 

I've ventured into short stories very occasionally, but that's very occasionally if I have an idea for a short story, , mainly kinda genre fiction and,  graphic novels. And at the moment, just the, the main focus is the adaptation or. . 

I like to write,  short stories at the moment. I also like to write radio plays.  , what were you working on during the retreat?

 I went in with a plan to write a, play.

And then when I started write, well, I spent the first little bit trying to plan this thing and trying to use all of the techniques that I'd learned in my m msc in playwriting. And then it got to the point where I was just getting stuck and frustrated with it. So I just started writing. And it turns out what I started writing is sort of my first one person play, so kind of a monologue and it was of course about murder. There's a guy,  on death row and he's basically reflecting on his life as his execution date was ever closer.

Absolutely fantastic. We've actually heard about Silas before on the podcast. Silas Boggs, episode three, I think so you've developed this character that's been coming on for quite a while. 

Yeah, I've been writing him since, I think it was May, 2020. I was furloughed from work. I started , getting back into online RPG and into writing creatively just as a way to keep my brain occupied. And that's where he came from.

I really enjoy writing him. So I was working on a play with him as the main, I guess, speaker of the monologue. 

You came up with a murderer during lockdown, that's just very you and also very lockdown, .  Ari would you mind telling us a little bit about, some of the projects you were working on while you were up there? Academic and fictional. 

Yeah, of course. I mean, execution is a very good through line cuz that's what the academic stuff I was working on was. I went up to Moniac knowing I wasn't gonna write my dissertation cause I'm not quite at that point yet. I've been away researching for quite a long period of time. So my plan for Moniac was to  take all the research I've accumulated. During my time in Venice, in London and kind of organize it, because when you're in the archives all the time, it gets kind of muddled in your head.

You're just looking at a lot of information you're taking, you're synthesizing. So I wanted to sit down, go through everything I'd found, put it in some kind of order,   being in the, the Scottish countryside was very helpful. Bit of a break from the chaos of London. And in terms of the, of the fictional projects, I brought up about five notebooks because I have like three different projects on the go and I was like, oh, which one, which one will decide to be worked on this time?

 I ended up planning one of them writing the first scene for one of them. Which is,  essentially a hero's journey where the protagonist is beginning the hero's journey about 20 years later than you'd expect her to. So she's in her early forties as opposed to kind of teens, early twenties kind of idea and goes through her own Yeah.

Hero's journey at that age. One thing I didn't mention that I, I do write earlier is poetry. So inspired by the walks and the, the general countryside was just this feeling of of, of kind of youthfulness that you sometimes miss when you're, very busy with life and just kind of being around nature sometimes reminds you of, of times when you're young and just kind of enjoying the world around you and not quite so distracted. So that inspired a, a poem, 

 So, I have been,  working on plays quite a lot. I am a fan of the way that Shakespeare has done his plays and the rhythm that goes with it and the way that it sounds.

 I managed to finish the play that I was working on, barring one scene, which will be a second draft edit, but Money Act was great for that.

Like the peace, the quiet, the environment was also snuggly and the company was wonderful. We were there with such good people and just, we all got on so well and gelled and I'm sure we'll talk about it a bit more in a minute, but like from the last night when we all got together and we all read out things that we were doing and talked about them and it was so supportive and lovely and yeah, Mon was a great place.

I really loved it. I wanna go back. Mm-hmm. . So if Monk is listening, who more dates in when teachers have holidays? Please cause. Ah, the frustration, seeing all these dates in term time and I'm like, do I want to starve? Yes, but . So yeah, 



I was, I actually didn't know much like Ari with, bringing lots of notebooks and kind of seeing what would call to,  did kind of similar things. I brought like a few different projects I'm working on.

 And the first day I actually did something completely different, kind of non-fiction thing. and the rest of the week I continued with a justified sinner, my graphic novel.  And actually the last time I'd visited Mon Act Moore with Kat, I had done the writing for the first issue. What I would hope to get published as a standalone edition of a series, if that makes sense. So the whole thing's planned as a series, but this is issue one. 

So I was like, oh, I'm actually just gonna start, what's called Thumbnailing. So that is,  kind of very roughly plotting out the, basically think of stick men. Where are all the characters gonna go on the panels of the comic? How many panels are there gonna be per page? What's it gonna overall look like? You have a much grander image in your head than what is written or like drawn on the page I was doing it basically s are very rough drawings that end up looking really funny because they're just drawn in such haste.

 And I managed to produce 18 pages which was way more than I thought I would do.

And I was very happy.  

Absolutely rightly so. Well done. We're gonna move on to how would you describe the atmosphere of Mon Act more, because that's very important for a writer's retreat.

Cozy is saying the first word that comes to mind for me, 

Scottish.

Violently friendly. . . Like everyone was just immediately like friend, like, ok, this is great. I just all got together and hung out and it was wonderful. Like, the fires were lit, the candles were on the table, 

Medieval tavern's a good one. 

Wholesome. 

Yeah. Hoki. Hobi. 

Yeah. Hobb is actually a, a space called the Hobbit House, so that's incredibly appropriate. 

technically called the Straw Bill Studio, but it's just colloquially, everybody calls it the Hoit House.  

But it's a Hobbit house. Oh. Cause it's got grass on the roof and it's solar powered and it's got windows and the door is not circular, but it should be.

Yes. And on the walls for their solar technology. 

There are maple Leafs on the walls inside of it, which made this Canadian very happy.

Oh, like a little Hello . 

I loved it as well. Cause like on, I think it was the first night we were there, the five of us went out, um, as a little group. And we had one of our quite regular writing nights where we like write for an hour and then we share what we've done when we come out together. And it's really and really lovely. It's one of our favorite things to do. But as we were doing it, Rosie looks up at the sea, they say, There's a window up there and it's got reflection.

Somebody take a photo and we've got a 

photo of all of us in this 

skylight where the sky outside is skylight and there's these rustic wooden beams, kind of spiraling Star Wars outwards, um, from this skylight and just this image of the five of us sitting in a circle underneath it, doing our reading. And it's so lovely.

It was such a good photo and it captured the, the vibe of what we were doing. Like we were all stuck together in our own little world in there and just, You know, uh, the classic parallel play really, like we were all doing our own things separately 

together and it felt beautiful.

Mm-hmm. 

 I think it's just being around all these like-minded people, like sitting out to lunch and go, how's your writing going? Like, you don't get to do that on a regular basis.

Yeah. That was amazing.  Everyone was really invested in everyone's work and it was just a really supportive, and as mon said, very wholesome, lovely atmosphere. And again, hobby.

Cuz it was always like snacks. You could just go get a piece of cake if you wanted it. 

The Highlands are just one of my favorite places in the world as it is. And Scotland in general. It's interesting. Scotland reminds me a lot of Canada. It's, I mean, it already feels like home. Cause I spent a year in Scotland,  about 10 years ago when I was doing my undergrad. And that's how I met you. Amazing people in the first place. It was one of the best years of my life to begin with. There's the way that the, the leaf smell on the way, which is why I was kinda inspired to write about my own childhood, cuz there was that, that kind of flashback almost to, to being a kid in Canada in the fall.

And it's just so comforting somehow. And the highlands are so calm and so peaceful, which takes a, a day or two to adjust to at first,  just mentally to the quiet. And then after that it's just one of the most beautiful things. It just gives your, your head and your, mind room to, think and to breathe and  to invent.

Can we talk about the facilities that were available? So, Mon Act treated us like royalty, to be frank. They gave us breakfast, lunch, and then we all made dinner together.

 I found it great that I could move around. There were lots of different writing spaces that I could go and use. So when my brain went pancake, I could go to a completely different. House. There were three houses. There were fires in all of those spaces. So did you find using those things that were made accessible to us Good? 

Oh yeah. Freedom of being able to just go wherever and the fact there was no time limits.

The only. Times where lunch is served at this time that you don't even need to turn off. It's all you have to. The only kinda need to turn off was if you're on a cooking team. 

I was on last so I remember it be here though. Cooking was absolutely lovely cuz like everybody that was at Moak was. Peak human spot.

Absolutely. Lovely. And so, even though you weren't really familiar with them necessarily, when you started cooking with them by the end of the four hour stint, cooking for 15 people, you were like busy mates. It was great. Yeah. 

I mean, myself and my team were planning to open a restaurant and we were calling each other's chef the whole time.

It was just really good fun. 

 In terms of the. Facilities and things like in like with the cooking, I, I was always very nervous about the cooking aspect of it cuz I'm not much of a chef. But they talk you through it all. They show you how everything is.  I actually had a lot of fun  it was very, very fulfilling. And then, uh, to be put in charge of the rice,  nobody wanted to do the rice. And I was like, fine, I lived in China, I will step up, I will make the rice, it's fine.

Everyone really enjoyed the food. And there was always this lovely atmosphere at the dinner table as well the chefs, would come out with the meal and everybody would applaud as, the dishes were put down. Everything was really lovely. 

I was worried I'd feel trapped on a writer's retreat, like in a compound of some description. And you cannot leave. You must 

create, you must create this amount of work before you can leave. 

And I didn't feel like that. I didn't feel trapped at all. every morning going for a walk really opened my brain up.

It took away all the fug and cloud and I was much more productive. So having access to the nature around Moniac more was an incredible, massive bonus in its favor. it was also a nice opportunity to bond with other writers saying, Hey, do you wanna go for a walk? Yeah, let's go for a walk. And we toddle off and get to know each other and chat about our projects.

It was also fun comparing everybody's lived experience. Now, we were very lucky that we were there with some incredibly open and patient and generous people. Everyone was on the same page about a lot of things and I know that that's not always the case. So actually I'd like to throw it to Mon and Kat first, to talk about how your social experience on this retreat differed from your previous retreat.

There. 

So much better this time.  I just feel like this time there was less kind of pressure to be social because everyone's got on so well it just depend on the crowd you get.

And I feel like last time there was a bit a clique going on.

I was just about to say that. And there was also lots of like, oh, we're, we're all gonna hang out in the main dining room and basically drink and we, and Mo and I, we'd go off and people would be going, oh, where are you going? And we go, we're going to work on our writing.

That's what we paid for. That's why we're here. . 

Yeah. Like it was a bit kind of judgment for going off and writing in the evening. That's why we're here.  But that's not say like, you know that not if obviously we like that. Just depends on 

the social mix again 

I find a difference between somebody who is a writer and a writer . And I think that sometimes you'll get a group of people attending a lovely environment, a lovely escape who are writers and are really interested in being that way and kind of possibly showing off a little about the writing skills.

And that's totally fair enough if that's your vibe, if that's how you socialize. Absolutely. But for us as a friendship group, we're actually probably a little more shy and like for myself personally, I am not diagnosed, but I am self-identifying on the artistic spectrum. And for me, socializing is very hard.

And it just so happened that I was really lucky to be with a bunch of people who actually understood that and like, Sometimes in social situations I'll find myself doing behaviors which are not seen as stereotypical. And nobody cared. Nobody asked anything about it. Like I think at 1.1 person turned through and went, okay.

And I went, yep. And they went okay. And that's fine. So there was a very non-judgmental atmosphere there, which I think sometimes you can get with any group of people, with writers as much as with anyone else. But there, there's an element of judgment that goes with humans. But I, I think it just wasn't there that time.



And I'm, I'm going to include the staff in this as well because it's, we're talking about the participants that actually shout out to the staff of Moak More were absolutely phenomenally wonderful. So good at making such a wonderful home.  They would just be milling around the kitchen, making the, the lunches, and,  the cakes and things, and they were just so lovely.

You could just go and chat many times, once out with them, it was oftentimes, I'd just say breakfast and 

have a chat with the staff and non-intrusive advice as well. my writing is based on, folklore at this time, and immediately several different people, members of staff came up to me and was like, Hey, you should read this book of folklore.

Hey, you should listen to this podcast. But it didn't feel intrusive.  It was just like, Hey, we, we recognize your area of interest. I think you'd like this. It was genuine. 

It was incredibly warm and friendly and welcoming and it was just really lovely and it kind of cracked me up how people slowly figured out that the five of us knew each other, but it wasn't, which I kind of, I kind of liked the fact that it, it clearly we were socializing enough with the whole group that it took some time to figure out that we were actually there as a unit

The whole group really gelled really, really quickly and it just, it felt so relaxed and as people were saying, like it was encouraging, everyone was just incredibly encouraging and clearly just open to hearing each other's writing, but in a non-competitive way, which was just, ugh, it was so nice.

It was so relaxing to, to know that you're gonna read something out and people weren't gonna be comparing it to how they write. It was just, they were there to encourage your style and, and your ability, and you were there to do the same for them.  

The,  staff  it occurred to me,  while we were staying there, it wasn't just that they were being super helpful, it was the fact that they actually cared about you. Like I've been to Monk a few times, never to stay for a week. Usually it's just been for like a day trip because I lived in Inverness at one point and went up for a session on publishing and then went up for a session on, um, they were doing Dungeons and Dragons for one of them.

And it was really, really fun and lovely. But I think that was like three years prior  to the stain that we went on the retreat. We went on and. One of the staff members who'd ran it, remembered me, my name, the character I played, and the roles that I'd made in the middle of this thing, who I'd been playing with in the game, everything. How caring about the people that they see and work with. So like, that obviously contributed to how 

welcomed we were by everyone. It was 

just brilliant.

 Would you mind telling us if being at the retreat helped you overcome any mental blocks about writing or about writing this particular project?

 I get very bogged down in trying to do various bits of planning. Um, which I mean, to an extent you do need to plan what you're working on. But it got to the point where I was getting so bogged down in it that I wasn't actually doing any writing and I was getting frustrated because I was like, I've got a limited amount of time.

I had to get annual leave to come up here. And that's kind of hard for me sometimes. And I feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm not getting anywhere. . And so in terms of overcoming things, and I had really good conversations with I think all the members of our group really.  But I think Mon especially was basically just saying to me, look, just stop doing the planning and just flipping.

Right, dude.  Because I was just there going, I must use the techniques, and Mon was going, or you could just do what you're good at, which is right. And I was like, yeah, I guess I'll try that.

And, what do you know, I started working on my first one person place.  Having that time and space to be able to actually sit down and go, you know what?

This isn't working. I can try doing this instead. And to have the freedom to do that as well. 

As much as London was an amazing place to research, at the same time, kind of chaotic at times,  it can be quite loud and quite intense, I found it did make make it hard for me to sit and focus and really just put all my notes in order, , the other thing too about living in a cities, it's always 10,000 things to do and you always have that in the back of your mind of, of, well, if I'm not working on this, I should go see this or I should explore this.

Also, as someone traveling from North America, right, where it's, it's a long trip to get here, there's a sense of you should use every second and being up in the Highlands, there wasn't that sense of, well, you have to go to this place now. You gotta go do this thing. Cuz you could just go for a walk or you know, go and and sit outside for a while and that was you experiencing it.

And all I had to think about was my work. I didn't have to think about an appointment I needed to go to, or another book I needed to pick up or an archive I needed to visit.

It was just really. Really, really refreshing. I could have stayed there for another week if I could have possibly, honestly, or a month, you know, that would've been fine too. 

Last time I was on your podcast, you asked me about writing and I said that I don't believe in writer's block exactly. Like I believe that people struggle with writing, but I still think as I did then, that it's actually just a lack of inspiration and I wasn't lacking any inspiration, for the play nor while I was at Moac.

 But. I found it helpful personally to be there and it did.

I did overcome some mental blocks in terms of me being there,  I have a lot of trouble socializing. I find it very difficult to be in big groups, particularly with strangers, particularly in situations that I'm not familiar with, and being with such an accepting group of people and being able to sit in a room with them and not care that I'm sitting in a weird position or popping my puppets or,  playing with any other fidget toys I've got, whatever I'm doing.

that was really beautiful for me and that made me more able to write like I was enthusiastic to write because I was an environment where I was so just genuinely accepted. So I think that was the biggest thing for me. It wasn't so much about the writing in and of itself, it was more about just how lovely the space was and the people were that I was with.

 This comic, I had stopped just like at the pandemic. I just never found the time to properly just get back into it, fully immerse myself in it., so this gave me the opportunity to do that, to actually just immerse myself, sit and just do it.

And I wasn't writing I was doing, but I was like writing adjacent, you know, I'd done the writing, it was just the planning of the pages and that's exactly what I needed was just time to just plug in my headphones into my ears, sit with endless cups of tea. Cuz that's something I should have said in facilities.

They had a hot water tank, which was permanently perfect tea, temperature, water at, you know, just the press button. So good. So tea on tap, 

biscuits, cake, blankets, 

couches, headphones, and my ears. Just sit and focus and that I've never done 18 pages in any drafts I've done of this. I've only, I've done like a few attempts at the first draft of, sketching out the first pages,

and I've, I've always feel like, well, I've never even got off the ground with this project. I've never been able to do it. And I got 18 pages done. And just the relief of that was so intense. I was just like, oh my God, I actually did it. And at the time, I remember comparing it to being like, you know, I was stuck on a rung of the ladder.

For about two years. Just stuck and the same, wrong going. I haven't progressed any, and then suddenly I was up a few rungs, so I'm like, oh, the view is different from here. Oh my God, I've actually done stuff. I can see more rungs. I can actually see where this is going. I can, I can see things differently now.

 I was so, so happy on the last day when I woke up and just was like, oh, this is, I love that whole experience. I can't wait to go back. And I actually kept momentum going. After I came out more, went back to work and stuff, I ended up doing some more work on my graphic novel, even if a little bit every day.

Just even thinking about it in some way, every day counted as momentum because there was nothing before that, basically. So I'm like, mon, act more, just the best experience for just getting stuff done. 

You are no longer Sisyphus. You have graduated. Yes,

can you tell us a favorite memory or memories from the retreat? Not too many now. Don't get too greedy. 

I'm glad you said memory or memories because it's very difficult to pick just one.

At one point I was in the kitchen to have my breakfast and I was checking with one of the staff who was making the lunch about,  ingredients with the lunch. Because of ver my various health issues and they were so accommodating. And that's something I forgot to mention earlier, is just how kind and accommodating everybody was in terms of dietary restriction and things.

There was always different options for people in terms of what could be in the puddings or, or in the main meals and things like, some people can't have alcohol, so that was tweaked, things like that. this chap, he basically talked me through how he was going to make the dinner and if those techniques would mean I could eat it safely.

 It was really lovely. When, on the last night we were all gathered around and we were all reading our work to each other and  and there was the fire going and we were in this cozy house all together and ah, it was just, yeah, it's hard to put into words.

It was, again, a bit of a cliche, but it was, it was quite a magical experience. That final night when you all come together having been piped in,  by an actual piper,  for your, Haus and Neeps and Tatties and your whiskey if you drink whiskey.

 Very Scottish experience, but also very celebratory. And then having had that amazing feast of a meal to then go and all sit around and read your writing and get feedback  it was basically we're all just kind of basking in the warmth and the camaraderie and also just in how flipping talented everybody was. It was fantastic. 

 I think I had a moment, it was a memory  by myself in this case, but it was when I went on a walk with the whole group and we'd said, lovely time walking.

And then I, I walked back a little bit early, so I headed back by myself and it was just, it was just such a lovely moment of just kind of peace and kind of communion with, with nature and just a moment of pause on the way back. And it was just that, that'll stay in my mind for a while. It was, it was incredibly restorative.

So I think those, those are some of the top ones for me. 

One of the memories that I have, it's a kind of motion a few times, but I can't remember if it was the first night, but there was a point after which I think I'd socialized.

It was one of the first times and I left 

the 

dining area where we had all been eating and I think I was going for an explorer just to explore the big garden cause it's quite a big garden, all the houses in it and was a cottage at the end of it and all that jazz. And sometimes when I get very happy, I can't actually sit still very easily.

And I tend to wiggle my arms and want to jig around and do a little dance. And I ran.  and I just literally bounded around the garden like a fucking puppy , like a, like a Labrador or something. And it was the memory of the fact that I was comfortable enough to do that, and I 

didn't mind 

that other people were kicking around or inside your or whatever.

And I was just happy and I just had to move. And it's been a while since I felt like that. 

When I went on a walk by myself at one point, it was a gorgeous sunny day. It was really warm. It was like t-shirt weather and I was just so happy that like I was listening to music and I just started running just spontaneously. Just started running at a certain point in music.

Was just so happy. And I just started dancing like, and um, , it was so nice cuz there was nobody else around and like, you know, cause it's the countryside, there was just nobody for miles. And I was running downhill as well, but super fast. And there's just the exhilaration and I was just looking up at the sky and it was a blue and beautiful.

And there's just countryside everywhere.  There's just sheep and cowing fields, you know, like a lot about the scenery really got to me like, cause I just love being out in the countryside.

There's also the walks between, cause we were staying in the cottage, so there's walks between the cottage and the main house and the hobbit house. There's, there's not a long walk at all, you know, it's like, and rubbish at distance. But you know, it's, you know, you'd be able to nip out basically just like hop in one place the other.

But, um, I remember pausing at one point in between the cottage and the house because I could hear an owl hooting and it was perfectly still and perfectly dark and you could just hear. And I was just like, wow. It's so quiet. And I love hearing ours and I. It was so cozy and wonderful, just seeing the light on in the lounge of the cottage where I was gonna go in a second and know my friends were in there all sitting, writing by the fire.

There's little moments like that that really got to me. Or moments of just looking up for my writing and just going across and seeing all my friends busy at work, you know, and seeing the fire crackling and just looking up and going, you know, just feeling cozy and warm and lovely.  

So I do not drink alcohol and the last night was a whiskey fest, . There was whiskey and everything. And I was like, that's fine, everything's fine. I'm okay. And Christina came up to me and  she was in charge of making the whiskey sauce and I'd said repeatedly, please don't worry.

You don't have to. And she came up to me and said, I've made you your personal bottle of non-alcoholic whiskey sauce. And I nearly cried. It meant so much that this person had gone out of their way. It was so special. One of my favorite memories is also listening to Mon read the address to a haggas.

 It was lovely . It felt so cultural. It felt so special 

it felt like everyone was gonna start a rave  to burns. I don't know why, but it was great.  That's a favorite memory. especially watching you try and stab that hackers and it just would not die.

dead. It's tougher than it looks . Yeah. 

We were all in the Hobbit house. We were all writing together and, , my favorite form of weather is rain. It always evokes the best feelings, this nostalgic, melancholy happiness.

 I heard, I looked, I thought, I heard something and I took out one headphone and everyone was there.  But Kat was sitting right beside me and I turned a. And Kat looked at me and we both in sync, lifted our hands above our heads and Mindd rain falling down and Ellis proceeded to die in a corner from Laughter

So it was a combination of beauty, being in sync, making my friends laugh,  and being in that space together with people I love  

I have to say, that dance move that you and Kat pulled was. Peak, like , like I looked up and suddenly the two of you were dancing in sync. Like the hands were at the same level.

Way from your foreheads to your navs. Like . There was not a finger outta place. It 

was like you 

practiced it for months. It was intense. . And I didn't even hear the ring cuz I had my music in as well. So, you know, , I was just like, they've just started dancing to entertain me now. , we'll 

always entertain you.

Thank you everyone, not only for this amazing retreat, but for being on the show.  If people would like to hear more from you, where 

can they go? 

Mostly my Instagram, , it is at the book Worm Reviews, and that's Worm as in w y r M as in Dragon.

 But worms are cool too. But that's where you can go to hear more from 

me. 

You can always check out my website if you like, which is arianna ellis.com.  Or if you want live, well, pseudo live updates on both academic work and really terrible puns.

You can go to Twitter and I'm at writing medieval, all one 

word. 

Ellis. If people would like to hear more from you, 

where can. Um, probably out onto their balconies. I'll hear my voice, 

um,  at 

the, at the risk that they don't hear me from there, to be honest. The most next slightly place is your podcast, darling

Yes. 

Come back to the 

podcast. Probably. Yeah. 

so Instagram, I'm under the pen named Thre, and that's t h r e n. And then the Instagram handles at thre underscore art, so d h r e n underscore a r t.

Thank you so much.  A big, huge thank you to Moak Moore. Honestly, this was an amazing experience. We all can't wait to go back.  Teacher time tables, come on. thank you Moak Moore. I think we can all agree on that. Woo. 

Woohoo.